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Tuesday 17 September 2013

FAQs To An All-Girls' School Woman


I’m a freshman in college who studied in an “all-girls” Christian school. Inevitably, the inundation of absurd questions follow suit. And trust me; the questions get increasingly ridiculous each time. Also, heartbreaking as it is for me to mention, those questions are primarily raised by girls.While I am building up the fortitude to face the intensified third degree, I undeniably admit that sometimes I wish to sit on a rocket and fly as far away from this world as possible.

I understand most people think that girls studying in a single-sex school must be from a different species altogether that are yet to adapt to social conventions and learn how to carry on a normal conversation without coming across as “overblown”.

However, as someone who has seen both the worlds, I can assure you that experiencing the ambience of a single sex school should definitely make it to your bucket list. I find it exhilarating to be in a place where there is no one to judge you and your actions do not exactly depend on the person whose attention you are vying for. You don’t care how you look because your crush isn’t sitting next to you and you can freely act like a chimp on steroids because there will always be others to join you.
But before I could explain all this to people, they shoot the following asinine questions at me.

“Ermhagerd! Girls are such b*tches! How did you manage to survive?”

If only I had a dollar for every time I was asked this question, I would hire people to dig up a hole to the very core of the Earth and shove those sexists in it! I understand that dealing with countless puberty-stricken girls is not the argument that I would use to help my case, but dealing with hormonally charged girls AND boys? No, thanks. Adolescence is already the most arduous time of a girl’s life. If you exacerbate this situation by adding boys into the equation then it would imply having to cope with my insanely raging hormones ALONG with trying to look pretty in order to impress my crush. Honestly, I would pick relatively less painful ways to die.

Neither would I ever want to vilify my own gender by calling every girl a "b!tch". In my fourteen year long school life, I have come across people who made life a little more grueling for me, but I wouldn't blame the entire female species for that. I would just blame it on the fact that some people are inherently not good persons. Because I have female friends and they are the best things that ever happened to me.

“Are you an over-the-top feminist? ”

Before I begin elaborating this particular point, I would like to say that I could never gauge people’s animosity towards feminists. A few days ago, a girl in my class proudly declared, “I like talking about women empowerment. Oh, but don't worry. I’m not a feminist!”And that’s exactly why I get worried. It rendered me quite disappointed to hear a girl say this, especially in a country like India where the onus of “ghar walon ka moonh kala na karna” remains tied to your gender. Et Tu, Brute?! Feminism is not a movement to slander the male species but it is a movement about advocating equality. That is what single sex school does to girls – it makes them celebrate feminism, not disparage it. Yes, we happen to like the color pink. No, we are not interested in becoming “tomboys” because we are too busy having fun being who we are. You would never find a girl from a single sex school say, “I have more guy friends than girls” or “girls are always jealous of me!”. Loyalty towards your gender is embedded in girls hailing from a same sex school. There is nothing better than that.

“Don’t you feel so much better studying with DA BOYS?!”

This is such a controversial topic. I had interacted with “boys” many times before, I had friends with boyfriends and yet there were people to pester me with statements like, “you have to experience the atmosphere of a co-ed institution”. While I did certainly want to “experience” it, I had never braced myself for what came next – which was a big, fat nothing. I still don't comprehend what the fuss was about. You might spot a handful of cute guys and might finally understand what having a "full-time" crush feels like. But if you're anything like me and have your heart set on a fictional character, then it is futile. Today, I only long for the times when it was alright to fix my clothes in the middle of the hallway or not shave my legs. Things that used to be the least of my concerns are currently my most crucial ones. I can no longer declare fearlessly why my stomach hurts or why I don't want to get up from my chair or why am I in a horrible mood. (There is only one reason for all of these three things). 

“Um, do all girls studying in a single sex school turn into homosexuals?”

Firstly, I do not comprehend what would be so objectionable even if someone is a homosexual. Secondly, it is a ridiculous question which states that single sex schools promote homosexuality. If people think that a person would change their sexual orientation according to their convenience, then they seriously need to work on their IQ. If students study in a single sex school it does not imply that they have never seen what a person of the opposite sex looks like. Unlike what some people might think, such schools are not prisons wherein students are confined for life. They have lives outside schools where they meet and interact with all sorts of people. Somehow, I found this question disturbing and derogatory on so many levels. Often, the people asking this are ignorant and homophobic and, well, I have a serious problem with both.

Having cleared the air surrounding same-sex schools, there are still a few things I have to mention. No matter how impish or awkward you can act and get away with in an all girls’ school, reality is despondently different. In the real world, you have to mingle with people of the opposite sex who sometimes happen to be intimidating or incredibly good looking (or really creepy and repulsive), thus causing your confidence to dwindle. Which is why the greatest years of my life were spent in a place where I could look my worst and daydream that perfect guys who are akin to my favorite fictional characters do exist out there somewhere (they don’t).

Good luck surviving in the real world!

Image Source: theguardian.com